Last week I bought a new pair of burgundy & white trainers. (Trainers are sneakers or tennis shoes.) My new pair happen to be soccer shoes, actually, “made” by an Italian company called Diadora. I say “made” by an Italian company because with the Chinglish written on the tongue of the shoe, I am inclined to believe that I have just purchased a really cute pair of knock-off Diadoras.

Diadora. Suggest the premium sporting goods exclusively.

That is what the tongue says. I love it! I really love the shoes, too, although they are exactly the same color and a similar style to a pair of track shoes that I was given in high school and then was way too ashamed to wear. How times and styles change. The shoes are very 70s soccer. I just need some knee high tube socks and some really tiny running shorts to complete my look.

Other fine examples of Chinglish I have come across:

On the bus ride into the city we always pass a huge billboard advertising a new apartment villa complex built next to a lake. It reads-

Wide house next to lake. Its aristocrat exclusively.

I think that the Chinese appreciate exclusivity. Or at least they think Westerners do.

On a notebook I use to write class notes and lesson plans in-

Ideal never deserts it strenouns, who will reach it with their constant pursuit.

And one of my favorites, printed on a bag of brown sugar. I’m dying to know, why on a bag of sugar?

May the breeze bring you the tenderness and warmth from me. Far from each other we may be. Yet still you are here. At the bottom of my heat.

I do not mean to poke fun at people who are not native English speakers. Half the time I misspell the words I am trying to teach my students. I just get a good smile out of some of these phrases, which must have been directly translated from Chinese to English. I’ll keep my eyes open for more good ones!


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